“Well, I’ll be. You muss’be Ow-gie.”  

“Augie. Yes, Augie. That’s me.”

“Well, it sure is ny-ce to fine’ly meet ya, Ow-gie.”

This was the first conversation he had with my extended family when I took him down to meet them for the first time. By down I mean south. Augie was born in Illinois, raised in Illinois and the vast majority of his family is spread the northern states. Going to southern Indiana, a short journey north of the Kentucky border, was a whole new experience for him; the sights, but mostly the sounds.

I did my best to prepare him for what may lie ahead. The town I’m from is old, real old. Put it this way, it was established as a fort in the 1730’s. Yah, it’s old. But the history there is amazing (the battles fought there, it’s the home of comedian Red Skelton and the treasured visit from Robert Kennedy on the campaign trail, just to name a few). Unfortunately, he didn’t get to experience any of the history. We didn’t have time for that. We had a lot of family ground to cover.

“Now remember….if you have any trouble understanding anyone, let me know.” I reminded him as we arrived at my Grandma’s house. He reassured me that he should be just fine and not to worry; he had a plan. He said his plan was to try and piece together their sentences to figure out what they were saying. He reckoned that if he could understand at least a few words, he’d get what they were talking about. That all changed once we opened the door.

Introductions went fast and furious. His strategy went right out the window as he was bombarded with hugs, kisses and food.  I have to give him credit though; he took it all in stride. He did have a little trouble here and there, but it wasn’t a big deal. Heck, anyone who has ten people talking to you at once is going to have some difficulty no matter what accent they have. However, it got even more difficult when I introduced him to one of my cousins.

The conversation started out innocent enough. Augie asked, “So, what do you do for a living?”

My cousin responded, “Ahhh haw coe.” I knew the second those three syllables hit the air, Augie would be beside himself wondering what the hell he just heard.

“I’m sorry?” Augie replied ever so politely. I could tell he was trying to use the piecing together strategy that he told me he was going to use.

“Ahhh haw coe.” Augie looked like a deer in headlights. The only thing I could do was smile. Well, maybe not the ONLY thing. What’d he say to ya sweetheart? Hee…hee…hee

“I’m so sorry. Sometimes my ears get stuffy and I don’t hear so good. You do what now?”

“Ahhh haw coe.” Augie looked over to me again, but this time mouthed the words I don’t know what he is saying. I gave in; he looked so pitiful.

I leaned over to him and mouthed really slow:  He….Hauls….Coal. Poor Augie, he was so embarrassed. He felt bad that he wasn’t able to understand the guy. I reassured him that it was okay because I highly doubted my cousin understood what he was saying either.

 

Augie has gotten better at figuring out the southern drawl. He had no choice….he married me didn’t he? He still needs help with translations from time to time, but for the most part, he does alright. But the next time you’re in the shop, ask him if he knows anyone that can haw coe!