Part One: Tattooing hasn’t always paid the bills.

That may sound hard to believe since tattoos are dang expensive.  People can pay hundres and even thousands of dollars for a sleeve or back piece or body suit. But like most businesses out there, the income is not steady. This is an industry that will thrive in the summer and virtually die in the winter. People don’t think about getting tattoos when it’s cold outside. They want to get them and show them off right away in the summer. I get it. It makes perfect sense.

When we first got together, he was always busy. He’d work late a lot of nights because the waiting room was packed with clients. I remember myself having to sit in the waiting room for over six hours to get my first tattoo. Tattoos were finding a new life in the up and coming generation. Cha-ching!

I’m not going to lie, the money was nice. It provided us with a pleasurable life. Who would’ve thought that I’d be a homeowner when I was only 21 years old, have nice cars and be able to be a stay at home mom? I wouldn’t have been able to if it wasn’t for the fact that business was booming then. Then…..that’s the operative word here. Like most things in life, the influx of clients didn’t last.

Business began to decline when Sofie was about two years old. There would be days when not a single person would walk through the studio door and then only one person for the entire week. I remember it like it was last week that he only brought home $50. We decided that I would start pounding the pavement for a job.

I was able to get a great job in a doctor’s office. The hours were perfect and it was amazing to be able talk to people that didn't use a sippy cup. Don’t get me wrong, being able to be a stay at home mom was a wonderful thing, but I did go a little stir crazy. Remember that big purple and green dinosaur that sang about how much he loved you? Well, he almost lost his life a few times.

We did have to put Sofie in daycare in order for me to work, but thankfully it was only part time. He would drop her off on his way to work around 11am and I was able to pick her up a few hours later. Having the part time rates wasn't too much of a sting to our wallets.

Working at the doctor's office helped supplement our income for a while. We were able to take vacations and splurge on things we normally wouldn't have before. It was nice. We finally felt like we were going to be okay. I did continue to work even after Gia was born. I enjoyed what I was doing and having the extra cash felt like a security blanket. It wasn't long before we were hit by slow times again and that security blanket flew off.

The parade of clients we had been getting used to was once again gone. And now with two kids in daycare, it was getting to be too much. We figured out that almost my entire years’ salary was going towards daycare fees with very little to spare at the end. It felt like we were just pissing our money away. We made the decision that it would be best if I could take time off from work and stay home with the girls until they went off to school.

We did our best to stick to the budget we set ourselves and save where we could, but unfortunately, that became too difficult. We resorted to credit cards. Oh, I know……bad idea, but we didn’t feel like we had much of a choice. Well, we did have another option....I'd get a second job.

I was able to land a job at a transitional shelter for women and children. It couldn't have been more perfect. I could walk or bike to work to save on gas and the hours I had were on Augie's days off.  It didn't take long before I was able to pick up extra shifts at the shelter. The extra shifts meant more money, but also meant less time that I would see Augie because my hours were now 11pm to 7am.

I would get home from work in time to shuffle the girls off to school (they were in public school by this point) and then I would head to bed. Augie left for work while I was sleeping and I would head back out to work 10:30pm, just as he was getting home. Somewhere in the middle of all of that I took care of the girls. That time in our lives remains much of a blur. I was on autopilot and would fall asleep if I stopped moving.

The tattoo gods shinned upon us once again and the studio started to show signs of life. Again, we thought things were looking good, but we figured we would proceed with caution. We decided that I would keep working and put that money into our savings just in case the studio slowed down yet again. We kept our fingers crossed as we focused on getting back on our feet. Thank goodness we were able to save because it wasn’t long before things got even worse.

Doc, Augie’s partner for almost 20 years, had passed away unexpectedly and his family decided to shut the studio down. In a blink of an eye, he was out of a job and I was the sole breadwinner. We were terrified. My income alone wasn’t enough to make ends meet and he couldn't obtain unemployment benefits because he was self-employed. We knew the money we had saved wasn’t going to last long. We needed to figure out what we were going to do…..and fast!

**WARNING….I DID MY BEST TO KEEP IT CLEAN**

I don’t know whether this should be considered a monumental event or just plain old pathetic, but I am somewhat proud that Augie and I part of the elite group of people that can say Danny Partridge has seen us naked.  I blame my lack of self-control for getting me to that moment where Mr. Bonaduce was free to gaze upon the perky twins and Augie’s, well, you know....

We were fans of his radio show on WLUP the Loop back in the early 90’s. We’d listen to him at the shop, in the car and at our apartment. We thought he was a hoot. On the night in question, I had his show on while waiting for Augie to get home from work.

Danny’s show was especially risqué that night….how to enhance your sex life. I was intrigued. I listened as all of the callers gush about their boyfriends putting flower petals in the bed….yuck…role playing….I suck at acting….and so on. None of these people had anything exciting or the slightest bit original to contribute. I couldn’t take this humdrum crap anymore. I picked up the phone.

Shemp, a sort of sidekick/program engineer kind of guy, picked up the phone. I began to have second thoughts the momet I heard his voice. Too late, I was committed. The words came out of me like vomit after too much Southern Comfort.

Yah…hi….I have a suggestion on how to make your sex life more exciting……..HAVE YOUR BOYFRIEND PIERCE HIS_____(fill in the blank). It was rather disturbing that I said it with such enthusiasm.

There was stone cold silence on the other end of the line. Hello?? It took Shemp a minute to gather his thoughts, I’m assuming, before he said that he was going have me talk to Danny. I knew Augie was on his way home and he was most likely going to be listening to my conversation with Mr. Bonaduce. Oh, crap…what am I doing?

Danny came on the line and bombarded me with questions about my suggestion. I remember being way too eager when explaining the whole thing to him. Thankfully, I don’t remember everything I said. Whatever I did say, it must have been intriguing enough for him to want us to come up to the radio station the following week. He said he wanted to see what I was talking about.

When Augie walked in the door, I was still on the phone. He had this look of what the f*ck did you do combined with a devious little smirk. Don’t be mad, honey! I’m doing my part for womankind. And besides, it’ll be a great plug for the studio! I swear.

When we got to the radio station, we were greeted by Diane, a fellow DJ. She was sweet. She reminded me of Stevie Nicks a bit. She took us back to the booth where we met Shemp. He went over FCC rules with us and pretty much begged us to keep it as clean as possible.

After a commercial break, Danny called us in to his radio booth. He explained to the audience why we were there and that his wife, Gretchen, would be joining us for the “unveiling.” Great! The more the merrier, right? Augie won’t mind. And he didn’t. Bless his heart.

At the unveiling, all you heard was a chorus of oh my god followed by a collective gasp. Back then, piercings like this were not well known. Nowadays, there are a whole lot more peters out there with a little bling. And the fact that neither of us looked like punks with mohawks, had facial piercings or had purple hair was even more shocking to them. We looked normal.

After things calmed down, Danny turned to me and asked me if I was pierced as well.. I told him that I was and asked if he’d like to see. Stupid question to ask a guy, I know. Like a stripper getting ready to climb the proverbial pole, I whipped my top off and tossed it on the floor. The surge of confidence I suddenly had came out of nowhere. Up until that point in my life, the only people that saw my boobs were Augie and my gynecologist.

The nudity wasn’t over yet. Danny saw the tattoo on my chest and asked if I had any more. That’s when I dropped trou and showed him the tiger on my butt and leg. To be fair, Danny then turned around and dropped his pants to show us the “onion” on his butt. I had no clue what the onion thing meant, but him and Augie did.I didn't care. I just continued to stare at his freckly butt.

The night came to a close with a dedication from Danny to us….”Illustrated Man” by Johnny Winter. And as we walked out, we heard him say to his listening audience that he was dedicating this song to his new best friends. Interesting….we haven’t heard from him since.

I met Augie just after Thanksgiving of 1991. By that Christmas, I had my first tattoo. I had a crystal ball being held by dragon claws put on my, let’s say the fleshier part of my chest. Inside of it has a beautiful mountain range with the ocean crashing against it and a sunset shinning down.  I thought it had a good balance of badass and pretty; edgy, yet subtle. Looking back, I should’ve put a lot more thought into placement....who knew that over time the circle would turn into an oval?

I came home all proud and cocky that I had this tattoo. I was inked! I was now a part of the tattoo community. I strutted in the house and announced to my parents what I had done. I expected them to be like, Wow! Cool, Aimee! You’re such a rebel. And I’d be all, Yah, I know! That’s not what happened. They both thought I had completely lost my mind. “What were you thinking? Don’t you realize that those things are permanent?”

A blind man could see that my mom was way madder than my dad. She was full on pissed off! She hadn’t met him yet and as I said before, she had a negative view of the tattoo world and the people that reside there. I was now one of those people. She saw it as me taking that step over to the dark side. She was so angry that she stopped speaking to me. This made for a rather uncomfortable holiday season, let me tell you. Fortunately, it didn’t last long.

Life went back to normal after about two weeks, thankfully. We were talking again and everything was fine. Little did she know, I was hit with the tattoo bug. I concussed! Put it this way, in a span of about six months, I was sporting five or so tattoos and had completely wiped out my savings account. And to top it all off, I kept every bit of it a secret from them for close to a year. Keeping the money thing secret wasn’t that difficult; trying to hide all of those tattoos….now that was a chore.

For those who have been tattooed before or know someone who has tattoos, you know that the healing process requires applying an ointment to the area for a few weeks. The ointment Augie had his clients use back then was A&D Ointment. That stuff reeks. If you’ve ever been around a kid with diaper rash, you’re probably familiar with that horrific smell.

My bedroom would permeate with this stuff every few weeks. And each time my mom would ask me, “What’s that smell coming from your bedroom?” I told her with freakish ease that it was a new lotion I was trying. She suggested I return it and get my money back. Down the line, when she’d smell it again, she would quizzically ask me why I hadn’t returned that nasty lotion. I would laugh it off and tell her that it didn't bother me. Liar, liar, pants on fire!

It wasn’t just the smell either. My clothes showed signs of being tattooed. The one I have on my back would stick to my t-shirts at night and leave a perfect imprint of the design (a wolf, howling at the moon) on the inside of it. I knew I couldn’t let her wash the shirts for obvious reasons and I hated doing laundry, so there was only one thing to do....throw my shirts out. That’s teenage logic for ya!

I resorted to tank tops to sleep in, but soon discovered the transfer of ink on my sheets. I couldn’t throw those out; she would certainly notice sheets missing and I had no money to buy my own because I spent all my money on tattoos. I thought for sure I was busted. Nope. She either didn’t notice or didn’t think anything of it.

The pungency of the ointment permiated tenfold that summer. That's when Augie started tattooing the tiger on my leg. This is the one that goes from my rear end to just above my knee that I mentioned earlier. This thing was so big that I went through the largest tube of ointment that the pharmacy sold by the time it was finished.  

I was convinced that my cover was going to be blown when I started wearing only pants when it was 90 degrees outside to hide it. I also walked with a limp after each tattoo session. My leg was so sore from being tattooed five to six hours at a time. My parents would ask me if my leg was okay and I would just tell them that I slept funny or I fell, always reassuring them that I would be fine. This cycle continued every two weeks for about two months.

I eventually came clean and confessed to my parents about all the tattoos I had gotten after they had met Augie and I was positive they wouldn’t get mad at him for tattooing me. Plus, I was getting real tired of hiding my tattoos. The tattoos didn't bother them as much as me hiding my dwindling bank account. That disappointed them more than anything.
 

It’s kind of funny though, to this day, the smell of A&D Ointment makes my mom’s stomach cringe. I actually can’t stand it either. Thankfully, the ointment company now makes an unscented version. Man, if they had that back then, that whole ordeal would’ve been a helluva lot easier! Well, at least a lot less smelly.